What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
