Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
