I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize