the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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