I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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