My brain says no but my pants say off.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
