thus making me awesome and them whores
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
ok first of all what the fuck
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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