you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize