At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
