I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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