We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
