I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
