i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
