id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You need a sexual gate keeper
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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