found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
