remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
