I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
