I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
