Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
