69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wish you could order shots online.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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