is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
