I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
