Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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