He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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