Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
