I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
