theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
