Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Less talking, more tequila
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
