I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I want a musical about memes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
