He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
