I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
