it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
