Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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