I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
