I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
