I wannas sexs uuuuu
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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