I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
