i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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