Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
