Can i not drive my cunt home
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
