East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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