I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize