is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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