The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
