I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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