Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
