I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
honey bunches of taint.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
