a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
