Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Randomize
