You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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