So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
