i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
