It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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