Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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