You smell like a Billy Joel song
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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