I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
