Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
