just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
