Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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