is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
