Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
then he tried to convert me to islam
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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