We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
