I'm going to jail i love you
my vag is so smooth its legendary
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
