One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
