just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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